"I design my shots. I walk the rehearsal as the camera and say 'this is where I want to be... I want this look." ~ Debbie Allen ~

To Rehearse Or Not To Rehearse?

By Sharon L Norris

The jury is still out within Australia's Celebrancy community on whether Wedding Rehearsals are really necessary in the overall scheme of things in modern weddings.

There are advocates for and against Wedding Rehearsals, and all for different reasons I might add, as well as the fact that there are "degrees" of rehearsal that can be undertaken in the absence of a full-rehearsal and whether these constitute a proper "rehearsal".

There are a number of options for couples in the lead up to their wedding. They may choose to have:

*          no rehearsal - the couple may be confident that they and their Attendants will be right on the day, without any form of run-through beforehand.

*          a mini-rehearsal in the celebrant's office between the couple and the celebrant, and possibly their wedding party as well - a chance to run through things verbally.

*          a full-rehearsal held on-site at the couple's proposed venue, involving the couple, wedding party, parents if desired, the person responsible for music, and the celebrant.

Where couples have no rehearsal in the lead up to their ceremony, they must approach their Wedding fully aware that things may not go as they have planned on the day. If their Wedding Party does not know where to go and what to do, the couple can hardly expect for a perfect ceremony no matter how hard their celebrant works.

Likewise, a mini-rehearsal in the celebrant's office is also somewhat limiting. Without knowing what space you have to work with, how people are cued and managed etc, it really is pot luck on the day that everything will go to plan.

I personally favour the third option, and am a staunch advocate of Wedding Rehearsals held on-site at the couple's proposed wedding venue, for the following reasons:

*          a rehearsal held on-site enables the Wedding Party to become familiar with the venue and know what they are expected to do on the day of the wedding.

*          it provides an opportunity for the Wedding Party to practice entrances, exits and any other physical element of the ceremony where movement of people is involved, particularly young children.

*          space can sometimes be an issue at some venues, especially where there are a large number of Attendants in the wedding party, and the celebrant can work with the couple to determine best placement options for the Wedding Party in the available space at the venue.

*          what is planned by the couple and the celebrant to take place on the day may not actually work given any number of impediments that may not be apparent until the Wedding Party gathers together in the one place for the first time. It gives the celebrant and couple a chance to explore alternatives.

*          a rehearsal on-site at the venue eases the minds of those involved in the Wedding Party, and tends to reduce any fear or anxiety in participants.

*          the families/friends of the Bride and Groom may also attend and be involved in practicing any family-oriented rituals that may be planned for the ceremony, such as the Giving of the Bride (and or Groom) in marriage, acknowledging the parents/family for their love and support, the lighting of candles or the reading of poetry or literature.

If you are planning to have a full rehearsal before your wedding, you will need to consider the following:

*          talk to the celebrant first and find out what dates he/she is available to conduct a rehearsal. It may be well-nigh impossible to organize something for a Saturday afternoon, for instance, as many marriage celebrants will already have weddings to perform.

*          once you have some firm dates in mind, contact the venue to see if it can accommodate a rehearsal on-site on the suggested dates. You might also want to run the dates past the Attendants in your Wedding Party.

*          when you have locked in your celebrant, your venue, confirm who will attend from your Wedding Party and other family members who may play a role on the day. Bear in mind that the proposed rehearsal date may not suit everyone. The rehearsal can still go ahead if a majority of Attendants and significant family are present.

*          plan to arrive at least 15 minutes early so that the rehearsal can start at the agreed time. Precious time can be wasted if your family or Attendants are late and end up missing much of what was discussed in their absence. This can become a particularly expensive exercise if the rehearsal is held in a location where parking may be at a premium or non-existent, forcing people to pay to park or travel to the venue by public transport.

During the rehearsal, don't be afraid to discuss options with your celebrant. A good celebrant will be sensitive to your needs, welcome your suggestions, and not be afraid to experiment with different things to work out whether what you've suggested is indeed manageable.

Remember, celebrants are many things but we are not miracle workers.  Sometimes the things you suggest may not be possible in the available space, at the venue, or may pose a health and safety risk to guests or the Wedding Party.

After the rehearsal you can have a private debrief with the celebrant if you wish, and use that time to get down on paper some specifics of how you want to do things on the day. This will be a particularly valuable resource for your celebrant as it will provide the basis upon which the physical elements of your ceremony will be based.

If anything, rehearsals provide peace of mind to the couple, their Wedding Party, and others who may be participating in the ceremony on the day in different ways. If you have the opportunity to have a rehearsal, go for it!

© 2008 Sharon L Norris      http://www.sharonlnorris.com.au/        All rights reserved.

This article is provided as general information for prospective marriage clients. It may also be used as a teaching tool for celebrants. However, this article is covered by copyright and may not be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author and copyright holder. The author protects her web-based intellectual property through the use of Copyscape internet plagiarism search tool.