"Paradise is seldom recognized as such until it is considered from the outside." ~ Hermann Hesse ~

How To Avoid A Celebrant-From-Hell Experience: 

Your Questions Answered

By Sharon L Norris

1. What is a "Celebrant From Hell"?

This is the term applied to celebrants (civil and religious officiants) who place far too much importance on themselves and their demands, and far less importance on their clients and the client's needs and requirements. 

These types of celebrants tend to be "difficult people" who forget they are being paid to conduct a ceremony for paying clients who will have specific requirements for their event, and will attempt to make the clients do what the celebrant wants (not vice versa). 

Working with a Celebrant From Hell can be truly soul-destroying, and that's not what you want on your special day. You will end up remembering your wedding for all the wrong reasons. Considering all the money you will spend on your wedding, is it worth the risk?

2. How Do I Recognise a Potential Celebrant From Hell?

You know you have a potential Celebrant From Hell when you hear them say things like:

• "This is the way it has to be done - no ifs or buts about it"
• "You'll stand where I say, do what I say, when I say"
• "I provide a no-frills service. If you want frills, find another celebrant"
• "Sorry, but you can't do that in weddings - it's not the done thing"

You know you have a potential Celebrant From Hell when you discover:

• they find it difficult to accommodate even the most basic of requests
• they have one set way of doing things (their way, not your way)
• they have a very abrupt manner of speaking and doing things that makes you feel uncomfortable or unhappy

3. What Can I Do If I Have Already Hired A Celebrant I Don't Like?

If you have already hired a difficult celebrant and are unhappy about working with them, you can do the following:

• talk to the celebrant and indicate clearly that you are unhappy with their service, manner, or whatever it may be that bothers you

• if the problem continues after speaking with the celebrant, you may wish to disengage them and find another celebrant you like better

• If you take this course of action, you will lose any money you have already paid the celebrant (compensation for the work they have already done for you - meetings, paperwork etc), but you may regard this as money well spent if it means you can engage a more professional celebrant to work with you

• if the problem is serious enough, you may wish to complain directly to the Registrar of Marriage Celebrants in Canberra, who oversees the practices of marriage celebrants. Write to:

The Registrar of Marriage Celebrants,

Marriage Celebrants Section,

Robert Garran Offices,

National Circuit, Barton ACT 2600

4. What Should I Be Looking For In A Marriage Celebrant?

Your marriage celebrant should be someone who makes you feel comfortable, who appreciates you as a paying client, and who has a "can do" approach to your suggestions and requests.  Above all, a professional celebrant will make you feel confident about their skills and abilities to do the job you are entrusting to them.

A professional celebrant will be patient with you, your wedding party and any children involved, will treat you and your guests with respect and courtesy, and will guide you with professional advice on placement of people, music, and the technical things you need to know about getting married.  A professional celebrant will not force you to do anything you don't wish to do.

5. How Can I Marry In The Ceremony Of My Dreams?

As long as the legal aspects of getting married are incorporated into your ceremony, you can do whatever you like. You can marry in virtually any location in Australia and its Territories, and at any time of the day or night. You can involve family and friends in your ceremony.  You can marry in a ceremony that takes up to an hour if you wish, or in as little as five minutes if that is what you prefer. You can write your own wedding vows and indeed any part of the ceremony you wish.

A professional celebrant will help you have the wedding you want.

A Celebrant From Hell will give you the wedding they want.

REMEMBER: YOU HAVE CHOICES - CHOOSE YOUR CELEBRANT WISELY!

© 2008 Sharon L Norris      www.sharonlnorris.com.au      All rights reserved.

This article is provided as general information for prospective marriage clients. It may also be used as a teaching tool for celebrants. However, this article is covered by copyright and may not be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author and copyright holder. The author protects her web-based intellectual property through the use of Copyscape internet plagiarism search tool.